Feeling that feeling again

I woke up too early today and I can't do a damn thing about it.  I want to just go back to bed.  Nope.  And so here I am trying to think of something witty to say.  But what does it matter because no one reads this blog.  Everyone just reads the pornography I write.  I guess I shouldn't complain because at least people are reading something I'm writing.

I had a pool when I was growing up... I wish I knew now then because I would have totally used that pool so much more to my advantage... and I mean sex.  I was a fun guy with a pool and a sense of humor and so on... or so I now imagine I must have been.

But oh well.  I often wonder how much time I spend dwelling about on things I'd passed over that I was ridiculously stupid for doing so.  Funny how we look at our past.  Oscar Wilde wrote once that, "The way to revisit one's youth, one must simple repeat the same mistakes."  Hmmm...

So many delicious options

My name is a name that can be used for a woman as well as a man.  This had brought years of immature ridicule through elementary school, and eventually just a silent obscurity in later years.  Last night, some kid was awed that his mother and I have the same name.  I said it happens.  Usually I say, "The name goes both ways, but I don't."  I didn't last night since the kid was twelve.

My parents gave me the name in the seventies... and I feel that it had to do with trying to be hippie like to do something "unique" with the names of their children.  My brother lucked out only because he was supposed to be a girl and they were going to name him Teressa... instead he was named Terrence.  Still different, but it never picked on as a girl's name.

And then, when I got older, I had a brilliant thought!  I realized that there were a lot of girls out there with the same name as my own.  I had a new mission!  I wanted to have sex with a woman with my own name.  Why?  Well, I suppose you could say it would be an interesting mission for no other reason just to do it, but really I just want to call out my own name while having sex!  Almost happened once... and she was so cute and petite and seemed into the idea... only she was with her brother that night and had to leave.  I never saw her again...

It'll all work out in the end?

I had this idea once that I should start this business that would provide the Santa Clause experience for people for a small fee.  The idea was that if someone would send a payment to an account through the year, they would get a big catalog of items to make wishlists from for the whole family.  This way, no shopping and every one gets a surprise... there's a lot more to it, but no need to bore you with the details.

Needless to say, I never did it.  Never left the idea stage.  I've had a lot of ideas as I was growing up.

One of my favorite ideas I thought up when I was about 13 was to start a porn company for people under the age of 18.  In my young and stupid logic, I reasoned that if adults could watch adults have sex, then why shouldn't I be able to show movies to kids my age of kids my age having sex!  I figured I would make a fortune! Unfortunately I never had enough money to pay any of the girls I knew to have sex on video.  Actually, probably a good thing it never happened since evidently that would have been illegal even though I were just a kid.  I mean, as it is, I took pictures of my sixteen year old girlfriend naked when I was seventeen, and I suppose that was illegal too.

Oh well.  As we get older I suppose we have to have things we like about adulthood... like porn, alcohol and the freedom to move out.  I could care less about the driving bullshit.  Seriously, where the hell are the tubes!?

Nights of waking...

Is it bad when I just can't get a full night's sleep without waking a few times from fucked up dreams?  Last night was a good one... see if you can follow this:

Started out in a library or book store that looked like the library from my high school.  I was having issues with the computer system and people were rude.  There was some girl who for some reason I was to take home from the store.  She lived near me, so it was no big deal.  We started walking home, down the main strip by the grocery stores here in town.  We were walking up the hill when my brother drove up to laugh at me because he was driving but I was walking.  He was drunk, and driving a red wagon.  (no, not station wagon... you know, a kid's red wagon.)  He turned suddenly and it tipped over spilling him out.  He cursed and got it back up but then ran away because cops were coming.  a cop stopped us and asked where he went.  I pointed to a Y in the road to a dark ally that he was hiding in and the cops left.

I turned to the girl (who was the only constant through the dream) and we were now driving.  We were going slow because the girl was nervous.  We were behind this car, and somehow we turned wrong because we were now driving right behind this other car down a wooded dirt road where the houses were old and covered in vines and there was just enough room between the houses to squeeze the car through.  Then the car in front of us stopped because the dirt road was a long driveway.  I realized that we were on the wrong street, and I was worried the guy who just parked would be mad that we followed him, so I put the car in reverse.  I tried to steer backwards, but the houses seemed even closer, and I kept just missing hitting them as I moved the car slowly.  I kept thinking that I would be able to turn around soon, but the driveway seemed to never end.  I kept telling the girl it was going to be fine, but she was getting really scared...

and that was when I woke up...  I had to pee... I closed my eyes and the road was gone, but I still remember the girl with shoulder length black hair with rich brown eyes, red sweater and thin red lips with a tan complexion.  She was holding three hardcover books to her chest with arms wrapped around them the whole time.

Okay... that's all for now...

I feel like there's a big hole...

As a young child, I was the only person I knew who didn't have cable.  My mother felt there was no point since we had three to five channels to watch and a VCR.  And we had a pool, so there was that.

I used to love going to spend the night next door with our neighbor friend.  We would camp out in the basement, turn on Cinemax and watch bad movies and wait for the nudity.  It was brilliant!  We would be really quiet and were ready to change the channel if we heard his parents moving around up there...

Oh, how I miss those days...  Sometimes it's just not as much fun watching a movie with loads of nudity unless there's the possibility of getting caught.