too long

I guess I waited too long to post. Been busy. Still busy. Somehow I managed to lose 6 chapters of my new book, so instead of moving forward, I need to go back and rewrite. Oh well. And I have dishes piling up and a lawn that never seems to stop growing. I think I'll stop mowing the back. no one sees it any way. Okay, need to check food.

new post... been a bit.

so, faire is in full swing, and I am sooo loving it. not much more on that.... need to write. I have seen and now I understand... but i still like it.

okay.. tired

there is porn in the background, and I am tired. I need to sleep to be ready for fair in the morrow. Night all. new update on sunday eve.

the worst

and the worst part about it was that I didn't even see it coming... that's what makes it really hurt.

the day has come

the day has come... the site opens it's doors to those out there who wish to read my work. not only that, but the end of the opening weekend of the fair is now open. so much has finally come to pass. okay, well, I shall away to rest and chill. muchly exhausted.

first day of faire

okay, really quickly... today was the first day of the pa renn faire. I was nervous, but I feel I did well. i am now ready to fall over... g'night.

strange nights

Okay, so I’m going to write this once and send it several places... I had the most interesting night last night. It started with my finishing my shift at Bube’s. Mike F., the bartender for the night, was gracious enough to make me 3 well whiskey and Pepsis. Whatever. Okay, so I was feeling good to start. Then I went over to the martini bar and had 2 martinis. Now I’m beyond feeling good. Anyway, the night draws to a close, and there are only 4 people sitting at the bar at last call. It was myself, that Chrissy chick from across the street, some girl I have no name for, and this Mexican at the other end of the bar. The Mexican guy speaks up and says he’s buying a round because it’s his birthday. Now by this point, Mike had cut me off and was feeding me a pot of coffee. (Good guy, Mike.)
Well, this Mex guy needs a ride home, and I say okay because I’m feeling okay by about 2:30. He was offering $20 for a ride, and I was not saying no. That would pay my tab for the night. So I drive this guy to his little apartment, and the whole time he’s asking me to come in and have a beer with him to celebrate his 35th birthday. I figure, what the fuck. This guy hands me $40 for the ride and company by this time. I’m saying to myself, "What the fuck am I doing here."
So, he hand me a Corona and then begins telling me how he loves this country and how he just recently became a citizen. He was going to vote for the first time since moving here, and he was excited because he was voting for Kerry. Then, he tells me of his 2 children. He shows me pictures that are all over his apartment of his daughters. He then tells me how they told him that their stepfather is abusing them.
He went on about how he called an abuse hotline, and he’s afraid his ex will be pissed and not let him see his children anymore.
After that story, I asked him where he was from, and he said that he moved from Canada, but he was born in El Salvador. What I wasn’t expecting was the story about how when he was six, his parents were killed by the government. He didn’t really go into detail, but he did tell me that it was something that he will never forget.
Well, after about an hour, I started to try to get out of there. He insisted I stay for 2 more for another $20. Well, I was already there, hadn’t finished the first beer, so I said okay. I was fortunate to get out of there about 20 minutes later, and I was happy to be going since it was about 4 am.
That was insane. Gave me a lot to think about.

step 2

working on the whole "getting the hell out of hell" thing. step 2 being looked at. I'm nervous, but it will all end up okay.

almost there...

There are but a few days before the faire begins, and I am a bit on the nervous side. No only will I have the shows I'm in, but I will also be playing feast master for feasts. This is evidently going to be every weekend. Exciting, yes. But at the same time, it's a little worrysome. Lot's of things to recall. Ques to get. and so on. I seem to be getting less and less sleep each night. There are a lot of things that I have on my mind. Opening weekend of faire is one... then there is my decisions. And friends I wish to see again soon. Okay, time to rest.

okay... Next...

I'm tired of things, I guess. This is what makes people make changes, right? At least for me, sure. The nice thing is the unexpected support. I got a very heartfelt hug today for support, and it really was nice to know people give a shit. I was more than happy to have the support. And the first steps have been started... We shall see where this goes. I know it will get better. I just need to get rid of my pessimist.

counting down...

So today is tuesday... and saturday is the first faire day. I will be in 2 shows, starting in saturday. not to mention the finale show. Looking forward to it all, really. not to mention the other things I am looking forward to. ahhh well. okay, gonna keep this really brief. so, bye for now.

Mixed things...

So, I have made a decision, and I am trying to convince myself it is the best for me and all those involved. I had a tarot reading that said it will happen, it will suck, but life will go on and be better. Okay, I now place my life in the hands of what fate will deem me... so long as I have the courage to do this. And then there is dennis. He has an amazing way of cheering me up, especially after such a dissapointing evening. I got called into work, tried to contact a friend who I am feeling I need to hear from more often than not, and to no avail. I suppose there is nothing to it, but I am a needy person.... or perhaps psychotic at times. Either way, when I feel I really want to hear someone's voice, I really want to hear their voice. I hate not getting my way. Oh well. I shall survive. SO I am just randomly writing shit no one will ever read for my cheep thearipy. Oh well. If the world was perfect in my eyes, I would be happy and the world would love me. But this isn't the case. Instead, I feel I should lay down on the ground and write, "Step here," and be done with it. This post is a bit on the sad, pathetic, self pity side. But if I can't pity myself, who the fuck will? night for now...

drunk

okay, you read it. i do to be drunk. i am contemplating bad things... mayeb they be good. who knows. fuck it, doth it matter any who? probly not. maybe more scotch will help thee sleep....

To Evil

I have to wonder if anyone is reading these, or am I just posting this for my own whatever. Eh, oh well. If perchance there is someone reading these, I say we raise a glass and have a toast to really evil things. Puts a smile on my face.

some how I screwed up

okay, so the post that say "shtuff" should have been here. FYI.

shtuff

Nothing new

Worked today... You ever go to a site, find something really good on it, and when you go back to find it you can't? My current problem. oh well. chow for now...

Long Day.

This was a long day. But a good one over all. I was up at six in the morning so I could be at the morning meeting of the first Renn Faire performance. Today was a kids' camp day at the faire, and for me it was the first time I had to be in character and costume for a day. It was a shorter day than what will be a normal faire day, but it did give me a good idea of what to expect when it goes into full swing. And that will be 10 days from today. (why won't this thing let me make another paragraph? okay... new paragraph) So what writing have I done today? None, as of yet. I plan to get something done this evening before I pass out from being exhausted. I have laundry to do tonight, yet, as well. So I guess I should stop procrastinating and get something done. Good Night.

shtuff

Blah... just checking my mail and whatever. Kinda chilly today... oh well. You know how people say, "You know what I could really go for?" I was thinking what some of the strangest things to say you could go for. Like a corpse. Or a crackwhore. What ever may be out of the norm to make people take a few steps back from you. Tis all for now.

First post

okay, gonna try this... This is a blog page to complement my other page. Here I will say a thing or two at least once a day if I can. I'll do the best I can at keeping up with this all.

For today, I will just say that I plan to have the site ready and moving by August 15th. I will be editing several essays between now and then, and continuing to write more when I feel like complaining.

At first, I thought to make all of my essays profound and really thoughtful, but then I realized that it would drive me nuts to do it. So, instead, I'll just write a column about whatever, even if make little to no sense to anyone else but myself. But, hey, as I always say: "So long as I'm laughing, it's funny."

To finish this entry, I'll just say that I hope people dig what I'm doing here. I really have been given a lot of encouragement by those who have read my work and liked it. If you dig my work, please tell me.