still hurting

Maybe a three egg cheese omlette will make it all better... Or at least I won't be hungry... I need to get ready for work... too much work.

Holy fuck does that hurt!!!!

I hurt myself and I need some one to kiss it to make me feel better... Or a BJ would be nice... Never mind, I'll just do it myself.

It's like peanutbutter...

Okay

an update of... well, um... nevermind... I'll be back

Start the list....

I want "Faces of Death" action figures!!!!

The game....

It's easy. We all pick a number from one to three billion. Then, we put all the possible numbers in a hat, and we pick eight numbers... Every one with those eight numbers gets a weapon of choice, and a free "kill who you want once" ticket. Okay, got that so far? Then, you have to give the weapon and ticket to the closest living relative of the person you killed and hope they didn't care for each other. Any takers?

There passes another day...

And tomorrow begins the mad and insane rush to the malls to buy all sorts of shit as cheaply as possible for people who you would likely never give two shits about otherwise... Welcome to the holiday season.

Whatever...

You know, I don't eat turkey... The potatoes are crap, and the vegi's are canned... I hate thanksgiving dinner at the inlaws.

Very lovely...

Ever have a nice time, and really just leave smiling? Like tonight? Yeah, that's it exactly.

Spam....

I hate spam... I get tons of it all of a sudden, and I have no idea where they come from or how to stop it... oh well. Lost my earing, so I'm making a new one... I'll be sending out an email for T-giving, so if you don't get it, it's because you're not on my mailing list.

What people think they know...

Despite it all, I'm not exactly doing as well as I pretend... I keep this mask up so that I can get through the shit... I need to go.

stitching...

Okay, well, I have a week ahead of me... Too much, and yet not quite enough. Off I go to stitch my socks and warm my feet...

finally

been having trouble posting... did laundry... updated page... and all the other important shit except that I feel like I'm missing something terribly...

Grilled egg and chees sandwich...

you have no idea how much I start to miss someone when you don't hear their voice for a day.... on another note, I need to eat breakfast, and I'm tired.

the truth....

The is no real truth... It's only what you make of it. What do you want to believe? Okay, then believe it and it becomes truth.

okay, so this is saturday...

Just gonna get some shit done here online before work... maybe get some writing done.... and work on this idea of Kyle's on making some money off him.... Okay, here I go.

Behind in shit...

I need to update my site with a couple of links... And work on some other stuff... Not to mention that Kyle had an idea that I'm going to work on.... As for other things... Did a reading at Bube's Thursday night and I think people dug it... May have to do it again.

survival....

Wow, that was interesting. And it's all okay now, I think. At least for now... The down side is that I'm a little hungover, and I could use a lot more sleep than I got. well, off I go to face the world.

funny things and such

still in a cure mood... Tired... long day at work... ever watch a man laugh at himself and have no clue?

Ok... So it went down like this...

I was in a pissy mood tonight for whatever reason... And I'm tired. I need sleep. I was told by a friend that I'm killing myself, and when I explained why I was, he said it changed his intensity, but not his conclusion. Make sense? Okay, well, I need to get to bed since I just got home and I'm tired.

Still Cure...

You know, I really think I need to have something happen here. You know, when you're getting too much thought and not enough action... I need to have something really good happen... it's been a bit. Ok, well, i need to write...

The cure mood

Ever get in a mood where all you want to listen to is the cure... can last hours... days... weeks... no one really knows how long it can last.

Wondering

why is a... holy god what the fuck was that? Did a car crash into... oh, never mind.

Memories from hell

Ever suddenly recall something from your past that was really painful? Something that you had not thought of in years that just suddenly popped in there and made you suddenly feel the emotions and feelings of pain and hurt you felt when it had happened? Kinda threw me today.

um...

yeah. Time to do it all over again... new places to send to, new places to say no... but at least I'm trying....

ahh, breakfast

I love eggs and toast for breakfast...

long day and shit

i could use a "get out of life" card for a few days... or weeks. Yeah, time away with some one special....

cold and wet...

This is not making for a profitable day... In fact, I'm gonna make squat today. On the up side, I have two new short stories i've written in the past week, and I just had a third idea.

Illnesses

So what do you get when you have a six year old, a bad cough and a quick gag reflex? Lots of vomit... Hydrochloric acid anyone. ewww.

Jazz...

Ever get in the mood for something a little different? Yeah, me too. So here I sit downloading Jazz. I have such a huge collection of every style you could think of that I like, and yet I have so little jazz. Oh well, that's what the internet is for... well that and porn.

Happy noise

Ah, the sound of screams and pain. There's nothing like it. To watch someone hurt and you know they like it. Okay, on another note... nope, got nothing.

Well...

Ever been really embarrassed, like when your boss walks into you having sex?

Hot Tea and porn

There are few better ways to start the morning aside from a blow job. Random thought of the morning.... I need to go grocery shopping today with the few measly bucks I can use to feed my self and my daughter.

ever listen

I think it's funny when you just pop in a song that you haven't heard in ages, and suddenly it's so much better that it was ages ago... Why? Because...

sick days...

Kept my daughter home from school today, and in turn slept in after I checked on her this morning. That felt nice, but now I feel like I should be the one staying home for a sick day. I have to work later, but I guess I can pretend until then. Get some work done.

addiction... returning...oh god help me.

Ever play those card games they install on your computer before you get it? They can get pretty damned addictive. You know, just to win the game you play about twenty games. And when you win, you think, "I wanna win another," so you play again. And again... And again! Oh fuck, it has my soul now... Might as well play another game.

Quick days...

Okay, so my lunch shift sucked... Not very profitable. Oh well. You ever see a tree with just one last leaf of it that seems to be saying, "Fuck you, I ain't letting go!"

makes me wonder

SO you are the product of your parents.. and the apple never falls far from the tree? Okay, well that leaves me pretty fucked, doesn't it. I guess I'll become a psycho-religious drunk with a shit load of pets i don't have time for. fucking lovely.

time, and waiting

for the right moment when I can make a call without any one noticing... and i want to make the call.... until...

a few things for today...

I have to get a new update up on the site... okay, got that ready... do that later on. i had a million thoughts only a moment ago, but now they are all gone... oh well. guess it wasn't too important. off work today... need to get some house work done, but I'm feeling lazy. maybe I'll just skip it and write all day... that would be nice.

Coughing...

I'm so sick of being ill... I need to stop coughing.... I get colds and they just don't ever completely leave me for months at a time.... On a happier note, I had a good lunch today. And then I got suckered into doing an extra shift... It happens at least once a week, and I was almost worried it wouldn't happen this week.

day the next

another weekend without faire... There are some things I'm really missing... I mean REALLY missing. but there are also some things that i'm not, like being cold, early mornings... I miss being able to make myself center of attention so easily, or just being able to go up and talk to random people for no reason... oh well. I guess I'll have to do it next year.

Placements

Today was disappointment after disappointment... First, my plans for next week were crushed by an oversight... Second, I realized how poor I really am... And now I find that I am almost out of Tea. Watch me deflate....

fun, fun feeling

time to... watch the world blow away in the wind in my eyes... I need to get away and hide. I need a little corner in a cave to disappear into. I need to just forget about everything except what I have a passion for. I need to lose myself in a dream and forget the rest of the shit in the real world. I need to... fly.

oh yeah...

so you know what is so great about getting away with some thing? getting away with it.

bold... ah... whatever

okay, so maybe I'm not always thinking with a full deck, I know. Why is it that people like to point this out all the time. I am fully aware of what I am doing, but sometimes you just have to say, "Fuck it, I wanna do what I wanna do!"

Well

I could think of worse things... Like maggots in an infants colon.

movie wise

okay, so at the end of the old black and white Frankenstein movie, do you think all the villagers were pissed that they didn't have bread for the time it took to build a new wind mill?

movie wise

okay, so at the end of the old black and white Frankenstein movie, do you think all the villagers were pissed that they didn't have bread for the time it took to build a new wind mill?

day of dirt

I cleaned all day. I woke up, got leanore to school, voted and cleaned. I did take a few minutes to eat somewhere in there, but otherwise I was cleaning. I'm actually exhausted... but I'm not quite finished yet. there are still more dishes to finish up, and the counters in the kitchen to clean. and then there's the stove that needs scrubbed, the walls need washed.... oh god, it never seems to end.

Voting day

You had better go out and vote... That's all for that shit. At least the commercials and ads will be done.

When paranoia sets in

Ever start to think about something good so much that suddenly you get that tiny thought that says it's about to be gone. It's not really substantiated, and you're pretty sure nothing is wrong, but now the thought is there. There's nothing for the thought to do but grow...