The return of the prodigal...

Funny, but I spelled prodigal correctly the first time and then changed it because I was sure that I had it wrong... but I was correct.
But that is not my reason for posting.  It's been a few months since I have bothered to post.  It's been a bit of an up and down.  Mostly, I was drinking.  I would love to say that this drinking was something I was enjoying, but most of what I was drinking was shit and I was just doing it to keep from the sober life.  This was causing a lot of problems, as you well imagine.  So, as much as I wanted to get work done, I was just making a little bit here and there just to keep my presence known.
I have since been able to break the shakes and now am back to enjoying the drinking, not just the effect.  Slowly I am returning to my busy schedule and being productive.  But now I am hungry and want a sandwich... I'll keep this updated as things progress...

kids as friends...?

As I always brag, I do not really have friends.  To be honest, there are a few... perhaps four people in this world who I would say are true and tried friends.  Most of the other people who would call themselves my friend are acquaintances that I currently have.  Many of them will vanish from my life when I stop seeing them on a regular basis at work.  People come and go in life, and I'm good with this.  For this reason, I keep vigilant about who I let become close to me.  Rarely do I tell people aspects of my personal life that I keep closely guarded.
I refuse to get close enough to people that I feel comfortable in sharing.  I mean, this may seem like an odd thing to think about as most people who know me seem to feel that I am extremely open and share more about myself than most would dare to say.  Really, I am outspoken and I think there is a perverse thing in me that enjoys telling people things simply to shock them.  What I do not share is much deeper than the bull shit I post and say.
Recently I have become acquainted with some very young kids.  To be honest, they are adults, but only just as they are eighteen and nineteen.  So basically, they're kids.  One of these kids in particular has for some reason become rather interested in me.  I wouldn't say it is an attraction romantically, but rather an intense interest to make me one of her friends.  At first I took it as a joking idea, but she's become much more intent over the few months we've known each other.  To be honest, I find myself mildly enjoying the time we spend working together and the several times we have chatted outside of work.
Through her and I getting to better know each other, I have been wrangled into chatting and spending time with yet another kid.  And then another.  Now there is a trio of these girls who seem very interested in getting to be my friend.
But after all this time of removing myself from the world just enough to avoid these kinds of friendships, I suddenly find myself being circled by these young kids who would like nothing more to be my friend.  In my mind, I am flattered that these kids find me so interesting.  But the question remains: Could I really accept the idea of making any of these very young girls (literally half my age!) a friend like I would call one of the four who I now call Friend?

As an avid reader of EVIL!

So, I am a huge fan of Anton LaVey.  I should mention this for some reason that I may not really be aware of at this moment.   Regardless, I made the statement.  I'll say that I do not always concur with his philosophies, but I do regard his rather atheistic ideals to be solid.  I truly love the nine satanic statements, and believe that they hold truer that the ideals of the ten commandments of Moses.  Really, I would like to focus on the idea of smiting the cheek.
You know, at one point in time, the god of the old testament was pretty fucking mean!  I mean that he was the kind of god who just decided to fuck an entire nation because he felt that he was not being paid enough attention.  Whooosh!  Flood, and you are all fucking dead!  And this is only one example.  Then there is the salt of Lot's wife and that bull shit that still today is used to perpetuate hate to others from a theology that preaches love... and so on...
Yup, I rather prefer the pretty simple and forward ideals of Anton LaVey when he just simply states, in a nut shell, if it is good for you then it is good for you.  Though I am a vehemist (is this a new word... could I start a religion from this idea?) in the fact that I believe that if one intentionally does wrong to you that you should do harm to them in such a capacity to prevent them from harming you ever again.  Now, I am not implying such means as murder or such, even though I feel strongly that there are many a person who has done such wrongs that they should be executed as that would be the only logical prevention from doing harm to others again.  (because seriously, if someone is fucked up to rape and murder innocent people, what reform do we really hope will happen by a lifetime of incarceration?)
I guess, what I'm saying is that there are people who are learning to become leaches on society and future douche-bags... teach them now that they will suffer for their asinine behavior...
but seriously, I may be pissed off and kinda drunk... so... I'll just have another shot for now!

Three months of not good...

So it is that time of the year when I pretty much lose my wife to the tax season.  Three months is a long time to go without a little you know what... not looking forward to it.

I'll try to keep busy, but what it really comes down to is trying not to drink myself into oblivion over the next months while I wait.  Lets be honest, if I can't fuck, then I want to be drunk.  (I would love to have both, but sobriety is okay when your inside)  Oh well.  Just need to keep busy...

first post of the new year!

Yup!  here it is!  The very first blog post here for 2013!!!  This is IT!  Number one for the year... yup...