I've been at this crossroads of depression and forced motivation. I really want to just get up, gorge on food, and then just sleep away the day. Better yet, I could just read until I sleep and then wake to do the same in a cycle day after day. Or I could just camp on the small couch that hurts my body to try to conform to it's shape as I try to veg out on it. Really, all of these ideas are great. To be honest, I would love to just lay in the hall and sleep so long as I could just not be bothered by anyone.
But the reasoning part of my mind knows that this is letting depression win and I would be not further to getting out of this hole I'm have found myself. Of course, then as I work, I can't stop the thoughts of how nothing right now seems to be getting me out of that hole. Then I start to wonder why I don't just give and and lay down. Reason keeps me trying. But reason begins to doubt the validity of trying.
So, when will one or the other become the voice of reason I decide to listen to?
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