working... finally

on a new dawn of my life!!! yup.

huh?

this page is oddly messed... i mean fucked. Oh well... the countdown begins.... 12 days of story telling

fuck

yeah, so the email starts tomorrow.... want it, the email me at sjwilde@witty.com

alone...

that's why I'm so bitter, i realized. yeah.

fuck off

ever the fucking joke. "Kick me, it's really fucking funny when I bleed!" I wonder if people think this. ever the god-damned fucking joke. when i finally die, you'll all be sorry you don't have your fucking bag of laughs around any more. well fuck them all... those who I once called friends. I'm sick of every one.

uh, yup

holy fuck do I need a vacation

wondering

what the fuck now... will I fucking do? my own life has become a little mystery to me.... fuck... oh well

a story

Thanksgiving.... what do you have to be thankful for? When I was fifteen, i was awakened at about 5:30 am on Thanksgiving morning by my mother's boyfriend of the time. He told me there was an accident with my mother and I needed to get up. My first thought was, "Great, how bad is the van?" Well, not a problem with the van, it was that my mother had decided to slit her wrists at the bar that night. No one would tell me that until hours after I was awakened, but I was finally told. That was the last time that we had made plans to go to my grandmothers for Thanksgiving, and the world changed so much since then for me. Oscar Wilde wrote, "As children, we worship our parents as gods, but when we grow older, we see them for who they really are. Rarely, if ever, do we forgive them.

a story

fucking holiday season...

This is the worst holiday season of the year! Fuck! Not only do I have to buy gifts for every one I fucking know, I have to do it while every one else in the god-damned country does it! Then there's the fucking tree and lights that will sit in my home until spring! Not to mention all the fucking beggars looking for hand outs all over the fucking place! Fuck, it's here again....

work, work work...

I think I work too much, but I never seem to be able to make ends meet. Funny how that works... or doesn't. Been writing a lot again. I've got about a half dozen good starts, but no real initiative to finish any of them, so I started another story. I think this one I'll keep up with and finish. I'll go back to the other ones for sure, just not yet. Also, I started hand writing a script for a movie or really fast moving play... whatever. Just so long as I'm writing. I just need to keep myself in hiding... this way I'll keep working.

Not a good person

but I'm writing. busy as fuck. too much shit... okay... that be all for now.

fuck it all...

I did come up with something I like, and... i liked it.

Flying, baby...

The rabbit has said all that is wise and good.... and wet.

revitalized

I spent a long day out and about... and I think I know what the cards meant. Yes, I think I understand. It was a nice stint, but I think that will be all it shall ever be.

Alive again...

But will anyone really like who I have become? Perhaps not, but I fucking like me. Mr. Rabbit is my friend now, and he's made me see things clearly. Fuck all that shit I worried about before... it really was trite. Now it's time to listen to the rabbit.

whatever....

time to rethink shit.... still pissed... not happy... started a new therapy... se where it goes.

gonna remain calm....

and not kill anyone... actually, yesterday was a bit on the productive side, so I feel kinda okay...

too tired

just a quick "fuck off" tonight... i'm tired...

Obsessions...

So, I said fuck you, and did you care? Most wouldn't. Thinking about having a few drinks before work, but I'm actually trying to be better to myself... and I need to make my beer last for 2 weeks... So I have to say that every day I have become more and more pissed about shit! I'm actually pissed at a certain group that I'll smile to and pretend I am all happy with and shit... And who knows who it was who actually said the things that have me pissed... makes me wonder. To top it off, I feel like I've become obsessed with a person who I may be rather pissed at as well... I keep waking with her in my head... there really is no fucking point to it... no use....

Fuck you's seem to be in order...

So it seems that people just have no idea of what it means to hurt a person! You ever been told something to your face, and then find out later that everyone else got a completely different story? Well a big Ol' fuck you to those who didn't have the fucking balls to just tell me the god damned truth!!! well, not that I fucking know, I have to say that I felt the same, but now I'm fucking pissed because you couldn't just fucking say so!!!! This world has really pissed me of these past few weeks, and I really wish I could pay it back for this shit!!! Maybe one person at a fucking time...

suicide note in lego...

so I couldn't help but find that funny... here I am, 28, and still here in this life of shit. I'll be here at 29, serving at this fucking hole, alone and whatever... ever just wish you could hit the stop button?

Tits....

Why are we so enamored with tits? I love them, and I want to see as many as possible... But why? Even when I could care less to touch the body attached to them, why do I want to see them so badly?

jesus in my heart...

Yeah right... if they find any thing in my heart it'll be the fat from all those fucking chicken fingers!!! I'm drunk... wanna have sex? I've got a bag for my face? no? well , i didn't wanna fuck you anyways you god damned cunt!!!!

fragments...

I think I've got a new idea... something without purpose....

done...

goodbye... to those still paying attention...

yup

done with that shit... think I made a good choice...

the secret place....

found a new place to drink... and it was nice to get the fuck away from those people... or whatever. I was away... and it felt good.

wow

what a cunt...

the end

free... free from this fucking thing I made... now I understand why god made jesus.

the gun Idea

you know, I have some good ideas... bullet number one would go to the cunt who first ratted me out. ironically, i act all concerned and shit about her and her pregnancy, but if it were not fo the guy who is father, and the respect I have for him, I would fucking put an ax through her skull.... bullet #2 would go through that weasly mother fucker's face.... god, I reall want to kill some people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is...

I'm going to be closing it all down soon...

so on

and the deconstruction continues... not that any of you could really give a fuck...

...

I know you were fucking laughing... I hope you enjoyed it!

...

I know you fucking laughed... Well I hope you enjoyed it!

...

I know you laughed... and fuck you. I hope you fucking enjoyed it!

FUCK YOU!!!!!

So you know, I realized a lot today...and one of those things was that I realized was that none of you give a good god damned fuck what I have to say... so fuck you all for your apathy... this site of mine is done. I'm closing it all up... good fucking bye,,,,

hand washing clothes...

I hate using bleach... and on a side note... I bought condiments today. nothing to really tell about. now I'm going to sip some mint tea and chill for a bit... enjoy my respite.

quick note...

gonna make quiche tomorrow... and I added some good kyle quotes... sweet fucking dreams.

fuck...

i lost my train of thought... but we'll come back to "fun with suicide" later. for now, it's party time... oh yeah, now you know that I am just about to masterbate. sweet dreams...

Fun with suicide, Part 2

Obviously, after one month of gorging yourself with fatty foods, you will likely have gained a considerable amount of weight. Your next step is to find the most inconvenient place to remove a large body. Some suggestions would be on the upper most floor of a four story building without an elevator, or the deepest parts of an extended cellar. Try considering things like doorways and turns to maneuver around as well.

Fun with suicide! Part one....

This is a planned thing and will take you a month. First, you need to spend all your money on junk food and fattening foods. (Max out the credit cards with out fear since you won't need them from here on out!) Call your job and tell them to fuck off, and plan for the laziest month of your life. Order massive amounts of movies on pay-per-view because you don't have to worry about paying the bills anymore. Order a really expensive recliner on credit, sit on your ass and gain as much weight as possible over the next few weeks...

for those interested...

I have to work tonight, and I'll have my book... see me about after 8 pm... or just don't... I don't fucking care what you do!

it's all coming together now...

The book is here!!!! Want a copy? then ask me... they are $5 a copy, and exclusively available with autograph through me!!! get it NOW!

hello ladies and gents...

Been a bit since I had posted, so I figured I would make an effort to do it more often... not that any one reads this shit! oh well, so I like talking to myself. Well, either way, I need to finish downloading porn movies and eat... chow for now....

new place...

Moved in on saturday... tired now... need to get ready for work. i'll be on later then, and I'll probably say more.

update...

will be done tonight... monday the whatever the fuck it is today... i just moved, so piss off.

almost

got a place... sign papers on saturday... yup...

okay....

early, cold and updating....

the time is near....

Just a note to every one... this upcoming week will be one where I will be a little limited as to how often I can get to the computer... I'll have the update up monday morning, and I'll blog when I can... And don't forget my book will be out soon!

long day

but now it's almost over... time to fall asleep and dream of napalm....

Finally, something good...

So today, I got my proof. in other words, I have a copy of what my book will look like. It's perfect... order your copy now!!!

Fucking Pissed!

Bad fucking day! All because some one has to keep on fucking my shit up. well, at least I'm almost done with this fucking shit!!!!

SNow

and more snow, and more snow, and more snow, and more snow.... and it's fucking cold to boot!

remember...

Does any one else remember those windsheild things that blocked the sun?

remember when...

Remember school delays and cancelations?

how many times...

Have you ever meant to do shit on a day off but then just found yourself looking up internet porn and playing video games all day instead?

Too many blah blah

So today wasn't too bad... Got word from the printers that all is good and go... Now I wait and become busy with work and new work... Maybe even do some work.

Updating....

getting shit done on time this week! hell yeah!

Tired...

well....

Things could be better, but at least they're not worse... long day ahead of me...

looking for...

Well, as for tonight, it seemed to go smoother than most of the recent past... Maybe I'll not freeze to death tonight after all...

Just keeping alive

Ever start to think that it would be easier to live life as a corpse than to try to be a living human? I think that thought has crossed my mind a few hundred times today.

ok...

Web site done.... need to... nevermind. I need to eat.

Sorry guys...

My life has gotten a bit out of hand, but I'm trying to put things in perspective... I'll have an update later to day for the site. sorry about the delay.

been busy

Too many things at once... I think I'm being redundant... Oh well... Need to get things done though...

arg

too many things to do in so little time... okay, well maybe I should just masterbate.

A work in progress...

Lots to do today.... Need to get things done before work, and I could use an assistant. And now I have this update thing going, so I'll probably get some shopping done while it's doing that.... Okay, I'm off.

Punk?

So at what point does the whole punk style just become a matter of being lazy?

so sleepy

does the world ever stop to take a breath? Guess not, but I wish I could sometimes. Okay, well, I need to get some sleep.... lot's to tell, but I won't for now.

so sleepy

does the world ever stop to take a breath? Guess not, but I wish I could sometimes. Okay, well, I need to get some sleep.... lot's to tell, but I won't for now.