Oh, the hippies and their guitars...

Ages upon ages ago, I went to a concert with my father for the very first time in my life.  It was awesome and huge, and I watched Jethro Tull for the first time in my life!  I had found an addiction that I have to say I fell in love with!

As soon as I was able, I was attending as many musical events as I could.  I would go see metal bands and punk  shows, and anything that I dug that I could get to.  When I started driving, it obviously made things a little easier for me.  There is an energy to live music that I wanted so desperately to be part of.  I finally started working on writing my own shit after playing keyboards for a band when I was in high school.  It wasn't much, but it was mine.

The problem was, I am very creative in my head, but I have always lacked a certain talent with musical instruments to properly articulate what I really wanted to do.  I improved a lot from the start, but eventually had to admit that it was a fun hobby that was never going to get me anywhere.  I needed to make a decision to focus on something that I was good at.  I gave up the music and focused on my writing.

I miss it, but I realized these past few weeks that I missed just going out to the shows and enjoying the music. I used to go to at least 2 clubs a week just to dance, and then I would see live shows when they came around.  But I seem to have lost that.  Now, I find myself really wanting to get out there again and live it again!

I have an old friend to thank for this... and so, here's his CD for his band... He does the guitar work and is amazing at it!  I strongly endorse this band and I hope you will at least check them out... if it;s your thing.  Because seriously, some people just don't dig music this intense!

Ahhh, the first time...

What do you think about when you think about the first time you ever had sex? I remember clearly all the things I thought about then. It was late, it was a chick I just met, she was drinking, I had a condom given to me by her sister in law, and The Wall was playing in the background.

I was actually in love with this other girl who I was so infatuated with that I had no idea what to do about it. I wasn't sure if the other girl felt quit as I did, but the couple of evenings that seemed to be so brief but so intense kissing in the corner of her room were all I could think of... well, and the fact that I totally fucked it all up by wanting to much too fast...

And so, there I was, in this attic space with this chick I had just met who I was informed by her brother's wife was a "Sure thing" for me. And she was.

As Pink Floyd played through the air and I found myself in the tangled of inexperienced sex, I had so many thoughts in my head. Thoughts like: "I've finally done it!" "So this is what it feels like?" "Oh how I love tits!" and "I should have taken my boots off." I had sex with the same chick two more times the next day, and I had my boots off for those... I have to say that the second time on the couch was awesome!

After we were done having sex on the couch, we turned on the TV and found out what the world was finding out... Kurt Cobain had been found dead... and so, I have a clear date to remember of the first time I finally had sex, the top goal in my life since I was nine and figured out that it was a thing people did!

Dead fish...

I have, on occasion been known to keep one or two of the nicer looking feeder fish from the fate of becoming my turtle's dinner to keep them in a tank as pets for a while.  These fish are simple little gold fish that have nothing really fancy about them, and are often not very long lived fish.  They are often used at the cheep carnival games as give aways if you manage to get a ping-pong ball into a small fish bowl.

These feeder fish cost about 2-3 dollars a dozen, if that.  At the cheep carnival fish bowl game, it costs about $5 for about 25-30 balls.  Out of that, if you're really lucky, you may get one or two fish.  My wife loves to play this game, and often will spend about 20-30 dollars at a time to get about 4 or 5 fish.  I would love to imagine that this is due to her love of playing the game, but in all honesty she just wants the fish.

Now, I love playing skee-ball and collecting the tickets to get the silly prize when I'm done.  I understand that i could buy the little stuffed crab at the little shop two doors down on the boardwalk for about three bucks, and I played at least $10 worth of skee-ball to collect enough tickets to get the crab, but I like playing skee-ball, and the prize is just a bonus in the end.  But if I just wanted the crab, I would just buy it.  And every time we take home six more fish for 30 bucks, I just grit my teeth and sigh, because it was all about the fish.

Ahhh... the memory lapses...

When I was about 12-13 ish, I fell into a bad crowd of born again Christian peoples.  Well, it wasn't all that bad, but it took a few years to get back to normal without feeling bad about it.  But one really good thing came out of knowing these poeple... Circle of Dust.

If you have never heard of Celldweller... I understand.  You have likely heard some of his work, regardless, and not have known it.  He does a lot for movie trailers, video games and such.  but way back in the day, the man who is Celldweller, Klayton had long hair and did a project called Circle of Dust.  I saw him perform live when I was about 15.  (it was also my first experience stage diving!)  The show was amazing, and it changed the way I thought about music for my life.

As I said, I had first heard of Circle of Dust because I was in with this Christian crowd.  Originally, Circle of Dust was a Christian band.  As for now, who knows about what Klayton's current religious affiliation is.  I turned out to be a normal atheist, so who knows where he is now.  (Listen to one of my favorite Original Circle of Dust songs HERE!)

I mention this because I went to see Celldweller just this past weekend, and I felt so alive being there to hear and see the music I have loved for so long.

The first time I saw Circle I was invited by this guy who I couldn't stand, but I really wanted to see the show.  It was worth it!  The second time was worth it as well.  Oh, and here's some Celldweller for you!

Today is Sundae

I think I realized that one of the best jobs I ever had was delivering pizza.  Really, the schedule was set in stone, I had 2 days off a week, and on alternate Friday or Saturday night I was done by 9pm.  It was great.  And there was so much shit that happened that's worth talking about.  (like the dead guy who watched wheel of fortune)

There was one Friday night that I had to work late, and I got a delivery for just up the street.  I headed to the deliver address and knocked on the screen door.  Some guy was sitting, visible to me, on a chair watching ESPN or some such shit, and it was loud so I figured he just hadn't heard me.  I knocked again, louder.  I shouted, "Hello!"  Finally, he moved.  Or more appropriately: jerked to life and spilled the beer he had in his hand all over the floor.  The guy was not just drunk, he was unable to actually stand up.

So I watched this guy try to stand, fall sideways onto the floor.  He crawled on his stomach to get to the door, and finally leaned himself in the open doorway.  He muttered something and I figured he was asking how much.  I told him, once, twice and perhaps up to five times before he finally just opened his wallet, handed me a five and a ten.  I took the money, handed him the bag with the sub and fries, and left him there in the door.  I was pretty sure he probably spent the night there and doubted he would touch the food since he seemed barely able to stay conscious.

Best part was, it was a slower night, and the order was out in less that 20 minutes, so I could only imagine how he managed to even order the food.

it's not writer's block...

I need to make some tea... no reason... just feel like a cup of tea.

I've been in this rut where I would rather watch porn that do any work.  I suppose this is probably just a natural reaction to life.  I mean, how many people try to learn guitar or drums so they don't have to work for the rest of their lives.  Not that being in a band isn't a fair amount of work at times.  Or it  could mean no work, but that really gets you nowhere.

And that's really about how everything is.  I would love to just not work, but unfortunately I need to do a fair amount of work first before I can just not work.  I need to get something big going in motion to be my money maker before I can sit back and enjoy the money.  Sadly, as I sit here writing this, I can't help but think about how much I would just love to pour a drink for myself and watch porn...

guess I should get work done...

been in a funk...

So, I need to get my ass in gear and start working on shit again.  As if I wasn't inspired as of late to really get any serious work done, I've recently had a loss in the sense that my father died last week.  I feel there is little I can do about this since he lived in Arizona and that is where the memorial services will be held.  There is no way for me to make it out there, so here I sit feeling a little useless about it all.

So... I have decided that since there is nothing I can do about it, then I'll not think about not being able to do nothing about it.  Instead, I will immerse myself in some work.  I have a new webcomic that I just started that you can check out HERE!  And don't forget to support me by not just reading my online work but checking out my work for sale HERE! 

Okay, that was my "plug my work" post for the month.  Thanks for reading!