Wednesday, January 25, 2012

history and shit...

So my parents had a rough time with me at a point... but I turned out fine in the end.  I learned more from my books and reading the Satanic Bible than I did from my parents in the end.  Of course there is the whole idea that I learned from their mistakes.  But what about what I learned about how to properly deal with the young adolescent shit head that I was?

So there is the old parental idiom: "I hope your kids turn out just like you."

Funny thing is, my daughter seems to be doing just fine.  I'm very proud of who she is and what she does.  I love her and am happy that despite the divorce, she will turn out just fine... or as fine as any child will.  But my current wife's son is a nightmare in a way.  He's not even mine, and he frustrates the fuck out of me!  Unfortunately, he reminds me much of my own person I was way back then.  I would like to imagine that I learned from my mistakes.  I feel I did sometimes... but often I made the same mistake over and over again.  But in my defense, I felt justified about my choices because I did it to attain the ultimate goal of losing my virginity.  I suppose I would feel a little more compassion about his rebellion if I believed that he was doing it for this reason... but it just seems that he's lazy and refuses to own up to the punishment his actions have warranted...

Of course, I didn't tell my dad that I ran away to try to stick my dick in a girl, so I imagine they felt the same way I do now... wonder what would have happened if I had been that honest about it all way back then...?

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