it's not funny!

So, there's a joke i like to tell: A young couple is getting married.  At the alter, the bride and groom are smiling from ear to ear.  You know why they are smiling?

That young man is marrying the woman who gives the best blow jobs he has ever had in his entire life...

The young bride is smiling because she knows she will never have to give her man another blowjob for the rest of her life.

Did you laugh or chuckle?  If you did, did you suddenly feel a pang in your chest with the realization that this is true?  I know I do every time I tell this joke...

lentils

Yup, at the grocery store the other day and there it was... Lentil soup pack.  Okay, really excited for a rainy day like this to give it a try.  so here it goes.  Cooking right now as I type.  Hopefully it does't suck... or end up on the floor... and why am I so excited about this soup?  Well, if you were laughing already, you probably already know.  For those who don't find such humor in the word, Lentil, I suggest watching a show from the BBC called "the Young Ones"  Seriously, you need to check it out...

And speaking of cooking... Big fucking news... coming soon.  Yeah, I totally teased you with that!  Now you have to wait until next week to find out what it is... but it'll be worth it!

Time tables...

It's time to start getting my ass in gear for the holiday season.  No really!  First holiday season is Halloween, and I think that I finally have a good idea for this year's Halloween story!  Not telling yet what it is.  Second, I'm working on getting my books available on Amazon.com... like the cookbook!  Then, I'm going to enjoy a lot of porn and hope I make enough money to stop having to do anything but writing and making kilts...

Eh, well, I can dream, yes?  Okay, well, I'll write something witty later.  Need shower and coffee now!

OOO, it's the sun?

The past few days have been full of rain and flooding in the part of the world I live in.  It's been nuts!  You know, I've seen pictures on the news through my life of flooding and such, but I never thought I would actually live somewhere that I could see it live.  Don't get me wrong, we're not that bad off as so many others, but it was rather awe inspiring!

I think I've always been a little fascinated by the power of weather.  I've always wanted to see a tornado, and have yet to see one.  The idea of seeing one terrifies me a bit, and yet I really still want to see one.  That and I would love to weather out a hurricane.  I used to watch the reporters as they would be standing in the downpour and winds and wished I could be there.  I've also dreamed of being struck by lightning...  You know, sometimes I wonder if I may be suicidal but just don't want to do the work to make it happen?  It would explain a lot...

oooo, shiny!

You know, it seems to me that everyone is always trying to update their web designs about once a years just to confuse me.  I get used to one new design when there's another one that comes out that I now have to get used to...

Well, there's that and the rain.  Holy shit is there rain!  It rained to the point of flooding the town yesterday.  That was kinda cool to see... though the three college kids who were riding down with boogie boards to the flooded areas where the rushing water was mixing with the flooded who knows what of the butcher's slaughter house and he smell of sewage... well, I hope they had fun.  Funny how the town had a smell that was somewhere between BBQ potato chips and shit.  Usually it's chocolate and shit.

Oh well... and today is my birthday.  I'm now three and a half decades old.  Am I any wiser?  Who knows... All I keep thinking is that I am one year closer to my demise... Okay, I need a drink... but only one because I actually have to go to work today in a couple of hours.