Bitter cold day...

Today is bitingly cold!  I know at some point I have to go for groceries, but I know full well that I do not want to.  Hell, I'm cold right here in my home with the heat on and my robe around me... It's time for some hot tea!

Of course, if you walk into my kitchen right now it's much colder.  I need to cook something to warm it up since I have this tenancy not to turn on the heat in that room.  It just seems kind of pointless considering that the room is in the far corner and is only really used to prepare food.  So, when I cook, I wash dishes and clean as it warms up, but otherwise, I don't make excuses to go in there.

But I do need to make tea... so I debate... do I go in, clean while the tea is brewing and steeping, or just wait for the whistling to signal that the tea is ready?  I think I should clean... the post holiday cookie thing has left the kitchen a disaster!

If only I could bottle up and store the heat from the middle of summer when I wanted nothing more than to avoid cooking in the kitchen because it would get so hot that I wouldn't be able to eat anything from heat exhaustion.  I would bottle it and now I would use a little at a time to keep the house warmer.

Oh well, until I'm a wizard I guess I just have to deal... wish I had someone to snuggle with to keep warm right now... but then I would never get any work done!

Sleep has brought me to this?

Long weekend so far.  Even with only a couple of shows to do and just a couple of days of work, this is a long weekend every year.  This year, I had to attend a party that I usually, often conveniently, miss. I suppose I have to admit to myself that I often find my mind desiring to avoid people rather than making plans for social events.  I mean, I do make plans to go to a show if friends are playing.  This is a rare thing, though.  In the past five years, I've been to only three shows that I can remember.  All three shows had my one friend's band.

And that's about as much as I cared to be out.  Ever since I quit the bar, I do little to nothing to get together with old friends.  This is okay with me most of the time.

Though I must admit that a friend of mine occasionally invites people to breakfast at a buffet.  I like to go there.  I seem to be a welcome addition to the group, though I often am offensive and probably crude.  (Okay, there's no probably about it)

Okay, well, no buffet this morning... but I'm hungry for eggs any way.  

something interesting?

i think I actually gave myself a tummy ache eating candy.  How the fuck does that happen?  you know, I can remember a time when I could eat loads of sugary sweets and never even notice.  In fact, there was a point in my life where I used to scrounge change, go to the drug store and buy candy bars, 2 for 88 cents, and a soda.  I would get four candy bars, a soda, and then sit at the dis-used train track bridge and enjoy my snack before going home, or where ever.  I miss those days.

It's not enough that now a single candy bar most places costs at least a dollar and the cheapest coke is over a buck and a half, but now if I eat too much candy I get a tummy ache!  I must say that I am a bit displeased about this.

Adversely, I have found that I am able to drink a lot of booze in one evening and not feel as bad as a couple of handfuls of candy "bottle caps."

don't ever trust...

Recently a young woman told me that I needed to trust people more.  There's a story behind this statement, but I'm not really interested in sharing that part now.  To her statement I simply said that I have never been a very trusting sort.  That would be a mostly true statement.  But most people, when young and innocent, are very trusting.  But when a child learns that his parents have lied to them, it's all downhill from there.

I've been lied to a lot.  Still am... so, I trust no one.  Not a single person in this world does a damned thing just to be nice.  Even the holy rollers use nice deeds as bargaining ships for what they believe will be a glorious afterlife. Well, if I do something nice for you, I'll be honest about it... I want something in return.  If your hot, then I want to see your tits... if a guy... well, less likely to find a good reason to help out.

As a wise drunk once observed: "Pussy: it'll get you to move a couch on your day off."

it's not funny!

So, there's a joke i like to tell: A young couple is getting married.  At the alter, the bride and groom are smiling from ear to ear.  You know why they are smiling?

That young man is marrying the woman who gives the best blow jobs he has ever had in his entire life...

The young bride is smiling because she knows she will never have to give her man another blowjob for the rest of her life.

Did you laugh or chuckle?  If you did, did you suddenly feel a pang in your chest with the realization that this is true?  I know I do every time I tell this joke...

And we're back...

I came back a couple of days ago from a vacation that started out great, but ended in some circle of hell I wish never to visit again.  Every year my family and I head down to Delaware (the state with no sales tax!) for a week to camp at this state park along the shore.  It's usually pretty nice aside from getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.  (I always have this issue.  I believe I taste delicious!)   This year, though, the weather had other intentions.  Due to a hurricane heading up the coast, our vacation was cut short.

Well, that sucked.  So we had to break camp and head home.  Before leaving, we hit up the candy shop and the shell shop, so we got our little trinkets.  And then we hit the road.  If you have never had to actually evacuate from somewhere, let me just explain that it sucks.  Especially since there really is only one main route out of Delaware to PA.  Our trip down took just over 3 hours.  Our trip back took nearly 7 hours just to get back into PA.  And that was where the true hell began.

My wife decided since we were still on vacation, we should head north to visit her mother... who lives in the Poconos.  So we drove an additional 3 hours to go there.  After 10 hours in the car, I was irritated.  Going to some lame park with a beach on a man made pond did not make me feel any better.  Nor did having to make breakfast for everyone that morning where by the time I finally got to eat my eggs that I made after giving my other ones away because everyone else decided they wanted what I was having after they asked for something else... so I ate their cold eggs, scrambled, instead of my warm delicious dippy eggs.

Then I had to make dinner of all the left over food for about ten people only to be left with the kids to clean up while my wife went shopping with her friend.  The next morning my wife went to church and I waited for her to come back in hopes of maybe hitting a diner for some breakfast... but she and her friend were really late because they went to a diner for breakfast.

In all, I drank a whole lot of beer and was plain miserable... but at least everyone else had a good time...

I've had only one other vacation that sticks in my mind as worse than this one... and that was the one that I went on after my wife and I split up that my now ex convinced me to go on since it was already paid for.  the only real difference was that I knew before hand how that one was going to go...

The strange collection of friends I have had...

Once, a long time ago, I was a good person.  i used to care about people and i was genuinely interested in helping people.  I would sit on the phone for hours listening to people go on about how shitty things seemed for them and try to console them.  I would stay up for hours with people if they cam to me with problems and just wanted someone to be there for them.  I would lend money and offer things to people who were having a rough time if they needed it and I could afford it.  Hell, some times I couldn't afford it.  In a nutshell, I was a nice person.

And people walked all over me.  If I needed things, no one offered to do a damn thing for me.  No one listened when I needed someone to talk to.  No one offered to help me when I needed it.  In the end, I would always find myself along and chatting to a plastic spider as my only friend that I could really trust.

I learned a long time ago that I need to be in this for me.  I am no longer a nice person.  I feel no pity for anyone who falls.  I will not stop to help my fellow man.  I have become a self centered individual who will only do for others if I know it will have some personal gain for myself.

But I guess, in the end, isn't this how everyone is?  Aren't we all just looking out for our own.  How many people do you really know who do things just to be kind.  I mean, even many "good Samaritans" are just good to ensure their place in a fictitious heaven they believe is real.  So I guess I'm just like everyone else now.  Perhaps I always was an just didn't realize it.

Eh, who cares... Buy pigface!  They're fun!