Thursday, July 28, 2011

The strange collection of friends I have had...

Once, a long time ago, I was a good person.  i used to care about people and i was genuinely interested in helping people.  I would sit on the phone for hours listening to people go on about how shitty things seemed for them and try to console them.  I would stay up for hours with people if they cam to me with problems and just wanted someone to be there for them.  I would lend money and offer things to people who were having a rough time if they needed it and I could afford it.  Hell, some times I couldn't afford it.  In a nutshell, I was a nice person.

And people walked all over me.  If I needed things, no one offered to do a damn thing for me.  No one listened when I needed someone to talk to.  No one offered to help me when I needed it.  In the end, I would always find myself along and chatting to a plastic spider as my only friend that I could really trust.

I learned a long time ago that I need to be in this for me.  I am no longer a nice person.  I feel no pity for anyone who falls.  I will not stop to help my fellow man.  I have become a self centered individual who will only do for others if I know it will have some personal gain for myself.

But I guess, in the end, isn't this how everyone is?  Aren't we all just looking out for our own.  How many people do you really know who do things just to be kind.  I mean, even many "good Samaritans" are just good to ensure their place in a fictitious heaven they believe is real.  So I guess I'm just like everyone else now.  Perhaps I always was an just didn't realize it.

Eh, who cares... Buy pigface!  They're fun!

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