Sleep has brought me to this?

Long weekend so far.  Even with only a couple of shows to do and just a couple of days of work, this is a long weekend every year.  This year, I had to attend a party that I usually, often conveniently, miss. I suppose I have to admit to myself that I often find my mind desiring to avoid people rather than making plans for social events.  I mean, I do make plans to go to a show if friends are playing.  This is a rare thing, though.  In the past five years, I've been to only three shows that I can remember.  All three shows had my one friend's band.

And that's about as much as I cared to be out.  Ever since I quit the bar, I do little to nothing to get together with old friends.  This is okay with me most of the time.

Though I must admit that a friend of mine occasionally invites people to breakfast at a buffet.  I like to go there.  I seem to be a welcome addition to the group, though I often am offensive and probably crude.  (Okay, there's no probably about it)

Okay, well, no buffet this morning... but I'm hungry for eggs any way.  

And we're back...

I came back a couple of days ago from a vacation that started out great, but ended in some circle of hell I wish never to visit again.  Every year my family and I head down to Delaware (the state with no sales tax!) for a week to camp at this state park along the shore.  It's usually pretty nice aside from getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.  (I always have this issue.  I believe I taste delicious!)   This year, though, the weather had other intentions.  Due to a hurricane heading up the coast, our vacation was cut short.

Well, that sucked.  So we had to break camp and head home.  Before leaving, we hit up the candy shop and the shell shop, so we got our little trinkets.  And then we hit the road.  If you have never had to actually evacuate from somewhere, let me just explain that it sucks.  Especially since there really is only one main route out of Delaware to PA.  Our trip down took just over 3 hours.  Our trip back took nearly 7 hours just to get back into PA.  And that was where the true hell began.

My wife decided since we were still on vacation, we should head north to visit her mother... who lives in the Poconos.  So we drove an additional 3 hours to go there.  After 10 hours in the car, I was irritated.  Going to some lame park with a beach on a man made pond did not make me feel any better.  Nor did having to make breakfast for everyone that morning where by the time I finally got to eat my eggs that I made after giving my other ones away because everyone else decided they wanted what I was having after they asked for something else... so I ate their cold eggs, scrambled, instead of my warm delicious dippy eggs.

Then I had to make dinner of all the left over food for about ten people only to be left with the kids to clean up while my wife went shopping with her friend.  The next morning my wife went to church and I waited for her to come back in hopes of maybe hitting a diner for some breakfast... but she and her friend were really late because they went to a diner for breakfast.

In all, I drank a whole lot of beer and was plain miserable... but at least everyone else had a good time...

I've had only one other vacation that sticks in my mind as worse than this one... and that was the one that I went on after my wife and I split up that my now ex convinced me to go on since it was already paid for.  the only real difference was that I knew before hand how that one was going to go...

Horny frogs...

Remember that all the noises you year animals make at night mean they are trying to get laid.

I always enjoy the idea that it's considered a romantic gesture to give someone you like the sexual organs of plants.  And if you have plant allergies, it's because you are actually allergic to plant semen.  And if you park under a maple tree and find in the morning that there is a thin yellow layer all over your car, consider that the tree had cum all over your car.

With that in mind, I realize a whole lot of other things.  Like how delicious eggs are unfertilized chicken embryos.  Eh, but I still want them fried up with that gooey yellow center to dip my toast into what would have been the protein of the chicken fetus if it should have been fertile.

Okay, I'm off to make breakfast!