Once upon a time, I began to enjoy the trips to my in-law's home. I enjoyed the light conversation and the opportunity to pretend that i fit in somewhere...
I believe the decline of my welcome there occurred when I inadvertently made it known to my mother in-law that I was an atheist. (this simple fact I thought she had understood by this time) It happened on an easter a couple of years back. Okay, fuck... things seemed okay, and then this past year of T-give I was invited to the bar with her father and brother. Honored, and obviously would be a blatant slap in the face should I refuse, and so I accepted... I have nothing to converse about with these people... they know as little about Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde as I know about hunting and football. regardless, her brother did one thing that does srtike accord with me... the shot.
(3 phases of shots: 1 (i just met you) Lets do a shot of ----? 2 (i like you enough) Lets do a shot, what do you like, I'll do my fave. 3 (friends) what you drinking, we'll do the same together.)
Her brother did shots that I chose... for the first time I felt welcomed without the previously mentioned walls between...
My wife asked how it went, and I honestly answered that it was an exercise in uncomfortable silence, but that her brother and I did shots. Later, I was berated for letting my youngest taste the wine(none to her liking... surprise?) and that I offered a sip off my home made cider to my wife's oldest. (Yeah, ben doesn't drink, and it would have shocked the hell out of me should he accept) My mum-in-law then seemed to take an interest in a conversation I was having with one of her friends where I was engaged in a debate about the harms and effects of pornography on our youth... and she finally just said that she read my facebook and felt that I was putting on some facade there to gain followers... I blatantly spoke, and asked if she doubted my true nature, would she wish to hear it then... thus challenged, I spoke as I am, wont to do...
I will say that X-mas was a very uncomfortable time... and I am sure I was no longer as welcome to the family... I was not invited for the drink as I had been before... and I was most certainly dealt with in a more curt and defined manner that was obviously not a welcome manner.
And thus I have come to understand that I am most un-welcome... but I am who I am... I object against censorship of any kind, I praise ethnic diversity, and I relish in the freedom to enjoy pornography!
I have no family of my own... and I now realize that I should never rely on any one to be that for me...
Okay... alone I fucking gripe... i comprehend... and now, one more shot and off to another restless night of sleep...
(moral of the story: if you can act, don't drop the act!)
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